Awhile ago
I was exploring the yamas and niyamas of yoga, known as yoga’s ethical
guidelines, and stumbled upon one nugget that’s helped me a fair amount in my
daily life off the mat. I was reading
about Ahimsa, which translates into non-harming, of others and self. Mahatma Gandhi described it as “not to injure
any creature by thought, word or deed”.
I
inherited quite an active worry gene from my mother, especially when it comes
to my kids. My kids are now young
adults, with their share of stresses and struggles, and at times I worry about
them as if they were helpless little ones, usually keeping myself up in the
middle of the night. I came across an
idea by Deborah Adele, who says that “worrying about others is a form of
violence.” At first this left me shocked.
Didn’t I worry about them because I loved them so much? How could this hurt them? Adele explains that
when we worry about others, we rob them of their personal power to manage their
own challenges. Rather than worrying,
she suggests offering support and encouragement.
I’ve been
turning this over in my mind and my practice and this is how it’s evolved for
me. When I catch myself worrying about
someone, I turn the worry into a loving kindness message, and visualize the
person in all these lovely states:
May my
loved one be well.
May my
loved one be peaceful and at ease.
May my
loved one be happy.
May my
loved one be full of loving kindness.
I’ve read that there’s evidence of improved
wellness for people when experienced mindfulness practitioners meditate on
their well-being. Regardless, this practice helps me feel more at peace and
more hopeful for my loved ones. I sleep better at night, and when I communicate
with them, I’m able to convey genuine faith in their ability. It also helps if
I sing myself a little Bobby McFerrin…Don’t Worry, Be Happy.
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